Walmart falls in with Washington’s war on terror
By Joe Fay
The US Department of Homeland Security has joined forces with the most relentless and observant patrol force available in the US - Walmart shoppers.
The Washington anti-terror agency will call on the cut-price chain’s army of aisle-plodding bargain spotters to apply those same skills to spotting the enemies of the United States and frustrating their diabolical plots.
DHS videos and security announcements will be broadcast in Walmart stores across the US.
Homeland security secretary Janet Napolitano said in a blog posting: “Homeland security starts with hometown security, and each of us plays a critical role in keeping our country and communities safe.”
“I applaud Walmart for joining the ‘If You See Something, Say Something’ campaign. This partnership will help millions of shoppers across the nation identify and report indicators of terrorism, crime and other threats to law enforcement authorities.”
And given the Walmart product range, we’re guessing some shoppers will do more than just spot terrorists, they’ll damn well take them down if they can.
Walmart - in common with some other US mega chains - offers guns and/or gun paraphernalia alongside the giant packs of cereal, cut-price jeans and BBQs its shoppers flock in for.
Some have questioned if Americans really want to be bombarded with anti-terror messages while choosing garden furniture and power tools.
But, as a spokesman told MSNBC, “Wal-Mart is a place where people gather, it’s a place where you sometimes see your neighbor the most. It is important to Wal-Mart that it help protect the safety of its community.”
What could be more American than that?